We all know that some mushrooms can kill you. One of the first things people usually say after I tell them I am a mushroom hunter is that they wouldn’t know which mushrooms to pick and would end up eating a poisonous one. Unfortunately, I too was not born with the natural instinct to identify poisonous mushrooms upon first sight. Or poisonous berries. Or poisonous snakes. Or poisonous people.
Once you start to learn different types of mushrooms, it can be as easy as telling the difference between a tulip and a rose, an oak from a maple tree, or even an orange from an apple. But until that point, there is no quick trick to determine which mushrooms are poisonous.
There are some old wives tales that supposedly differentiate the poisonous from the safe, such as:
- If you boil mushrooms with coins and the coin turns black, they are poisonous.
- Mushrooms that grow on wood are safe.
- If animals can eat them, we can too.
All. Of. These. Are. False! You just need to learn the proper identification techniques and start with one mushroom at a time. I would highly recommend starting with mushrooms that don’t have poisonous look-alikes. Maybe you’ve heard of the Morel? 😉
Always remember: There are bold mushroom hunters, and there are old mushroom hunters, but there are no bold, old mushroom hunters. Being bold is NOT an admirable trait in this hobby! Just don’t eat a mushroom you are not 100% certain of and the danger dissipates! Crisis averted.
That being said, the real dangers of mushroom hunting appear in more subtle ways:
- You may catch yourself scanning for mushrooms growing on trees while driving 60mph down the highway. Please don’t ever do this.
- You forget you are no longer 8 years old and find yourself half-way up a tree to get that one mushroom that might, possibly, if you squint your eyes just right, still be in good condition. Remember that getting up is easier than getting down.
- Gigantic, steep ravines appear as annoying little divots in the earth as you scale down the terrain like a mountain goat. FYI – You have two less feet than a goat.
- Mushrooms love to hide in thickets with pokey branches (death to Buckthorn and Prickly Ash!). Safety glasses could be added to your bag or basket for when you are called by the mushroom gods into places no man has gone before. Long sleeves and thick pants are also your friends, but I’ve found hats can actually make it more likely to get a quick poke in the eye as you rise up from the ground.
- Ticks are dicks! These are the most dangerous part of mushroom hunting. Wood ticks are annoying and gross, but deer ticks can be dangerous. Learn the difference! Lyme’s is a serious disease that deer ticks can spread to humans. There are a lot of ways to reduce your getting ticks. Permethrin is a very affective chemical to deter these lil’ bastards. I would recommend sacrificing one or two outfits to douse with Permethrin and wear these when you are hunting in a deer tick prone area during time of year they are out. Despite the name, wood ticks are more often found in tall grass than deep in the woods and you don’t need to get in contact with a deer to catch a deer tick. Both are more likely to find in tall grasses. And of course, always check yourself after getting back. Or even better, find yourself a designated tick-checker!
- And into the forest I go to lose my mind and find my soul. -John Muir. You may also lose your sense of direction! Since the invention of GPS, humans have lost their ability to get… anywhere! There are great apps out there to track where you’ve been, how far you’ve gone, and how slow you’ve gone. Find an app you like that can track where you’ve been so you can get back to where you started! I like MyTracks.
- And lastly, it can be addictive. It’s the “thrill of the hunt.” You will find yourself jonesing to get back out in the woods. You may start making excuses to cancel plans with your friends because it just rained 3 days ago and you can’t possibly go inside a restaurant during these prime conditions! Although it may not seem like it at the time, friends and family are still an important part of life and you will need them again in winter when you can’t go mushroom hunting!
That’s kind of a long list but the Morel of the story is: if you don’t eat mushrooms you aren’t sure of and use common sense, mushroom hunting will be no more dangerous than going for a walk in the park. And a lot more fun! It makes your walk in the park a scavenger hunt! And who doesn’t love a scavenger hunt?